I have been really quiet, this is because I am really out of sorts. What am I trying to say?
I feel..... odd.
Really odd.
Why you ask?
I will try to explain, this came in the post...
Ok, so going back to the odd feeling, I started this journey a long time ago, in fact I posted it here, 16 March 2017!! The day I found out I got accepted into university!
I have been non stop studying since then, and you would think that after all that time I would welcome a break? hmmm
I loved the learning, no I was a sponge and craved the learning, I miss the learning, I miss all the project work and creating. Sure I am now being creative under my own steam but I really miss the structure and freedom within that structure and actually loved the deadlines! What am I saying? I guess I don't really want to stop studying!
Am I crazy?
Do you know I had this dream way back when I got into university to become Dr Jacquie! Seriously, I know I need a PhD, that would give me the DR. Why am I not applying to do this? It's the end, there is no more levels after this, and that to be honest is scary as I enjoy the studying process. I am aware that studying for a PhD can take up to 8 years, this actually makes me jump for joy! But then my bubble bursts as it's the highest qualification, I can't go any further. It was brought to my attention that I could go study another BA if I wanted to! But this is challenging as my heart lies in hand embroidery and there are no courses solely for this. Oh yes, the RSA (Royal school of needlework) does a BA degree but I cannot attend there, there premisses is in a Grade 1 listed building, well palace! and has no disability access to the floors the degree is taught on.
So I am feeling odd with no clear direction on what to do.
I feel I should, rather it's what people want me to do, take time out, breathe and relax from studying.
hmmmm
I am sad, I am filled with sadness, I want to pick up my embroidery, but I am sad. Maybe I should just roll with this feeling as a kind of grief for the loss of the learning?
until next time....
Congratulations to you, Jacquie! Perhaps you could extend the PhD program to more than 8 years to fill that need.
ReplyDeletethank you for popping in, the PhD programmes I am looking into are up to 8 years, I mean I know thats ages, should be enough! I have thought more and for now I am taking a breather. Going to plough myself into creating hand embroidery I want to and have been wanting to do, some cross stitch too and I need to learn to enjoy the process again for me. Never saying never! I will probably at some point apply to do a PhD!
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