Thank you...

I am so so lucky to have such lovely blogger friends, thank you everyone for your comments on my last post.  I was so scared writing it, wondering what all of you would think... I have a lot of support and everyone is so kind, made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside! 😁

So thought I had best pop in and give you all an update... Hee hee or you would be thinking I had disappeared again?!

Han and Kevin were cat sitting over the bank holiday at my parents as they went away for a break.  So we planned to start with David Lloyd and the swimming pool today.  Bet your. Thinking I have come up with some excuse?! Ha ha no!! We actually went! Han is going to try to take some photos tomorrow to show you all.

It was such an effort getting changed, I had an end goal....to make it to the water!! And I am pleased to say I did! Oh my! Let me tell you, it was AMAZING!! It was a little tricky getting in the water but once in oh, I bobbed about and the stress floated away from me.  It was so relaxing, my lower back felt like there was nothing wrong with it!   My knee hurt if I moved it any way but straight, but after feeling the owe a few times I stopped moving it in every direction! Han was with me and helped me move about until I was confident.... She was looking after Bob for me! My wheelchair if you don't know! Lol

It was the first bit of exercise I have done in such a long long time, moving my arms, my legs... Just felt so good.  Well I guess it would after being trapped in one room and bed for so long.  After the pool, oh, getting out took longer! I made it though! Han wheeled me around to the sauna! What a treat! We both sat chatting in the sauna! It was so nice, warm and lovely! The time passed so quickly, I did not want to over do it on my first visit so we headed out after about just over an hour... It was enough for now. 

Hmmmm getting dried and dressed is an awful experience and left me out of breath, gasping for air with hardly any clothes on! Thankfully Han came to my rescue! It literally took half an hour to get dried and dressed!! Han wheeled me out to the foyer and we sat in the cafe for a while, I drank iced bottled water and reflected on our visit.  Even sat chatting then I still felt calm and relaxed...we both are positive about the coming days.  Although Han says. I may hit a low point when in pain, but she said she will help me through it as she wants me to enjoy the pool and water.

I am at home now, I am hurting! Well I knew I would be, but oh my!! Not sure I thought it would be this bad! But now I know the benefit of floating and relaxing in the water...I AM GOING! 

I wanted to share with you all that I went and it was great! One day at a time is my new motto! 

Thank you all for being so so lovely 😊

Until I next pop in...with photos!  Lol

Keep smiling 😊😊😊

What on earth??!!

Firstly so so sorry for not being here! I would of. Loved to of shown you all what exciting thing I have been doing......not yet! Sorry you will have to wait a little longer! 

Yes it's been a little while..... Han had her birthday, it was a wonderful 21st celebration.  This year we got a small cake as only three would be eating it... Han loves Hello Kitty so that's what she got!! 

I have missed blogging, missed popping in on all you lovely people.....and missed you all popping in on me too!! 

I bet your all wondering what I have been doing?! 

Stitching....yes I have been doing plenty of that!! But can't show you any of it yet!! 😁

Here is an update to me.... If you don't want to read, that fine, honestly.... Thank you for popping in.

I went away for a night! Ha ha yes an unexpected overnight stay in hospital! Pleased to of not stayed longer! It's once again another quandary and I am a oddity! 

I have had some devastating news that I am still trying to process... I had a specialist knee appointment and everything was reviewed and more x Rays were taken.  

The outcome was not good at all.  Apparently being almost 45 I am far too young to even be considered for a replacement knee as in my life time I may need up to three replacements.  It's not cost effective and it's dangerous so they tell me, due to me being high risk category for infection.  Not to mention the weight I have gained being stuck in bed... Being on blood thinners too.... It seems everything is against me.  The outcome is that they (the NHS) are not offering me a new knee or any treatment actually as nothing will 'fix' me so I have to deal with it.  Coming to terms with the fact I will never be able to walk again properly without either a wheelchair or maybe crutches on a good day is hard.  It's really hard to accept and has made me very depressed.

Not many of you are aware, some maybe.... But being house/bed bound is distroying me.  Loosing my independence is hard, thankfully my family are very supportive.  Unfortunately all the weight I have fought years to keep off me has crept on and more.  Laying/sitting in bed, I am not burning up much so what ever I do eat stays.  And due to me still not eating normal meal amounts I am still eating small amounts throughout the day... And you guessed it, all the wrong foods too!! Bland foods it is! I am trying other foods but it's hard, hard to eat healthily when I get ill with bad stomach cramps and start vomiting without any notice.

Staying positive is extremely hard... When I really have nothing to look forward to... I mean it's not like I will get better over night! So Han and I have come up with a plan.  A plan to get my head in a better place, a plan to make me feel better as me again... Do you know what I mean? 

I am going to tell you all and write about it here in my blog, then for me is real and I know it happening! 

We next week we will be taking out yearly memberships to David Lloyd gym and swimming pool, for several reasons.  To get me up and moving more.... To help me feel like a normal person again. And hopefully when I start moving about I hope to lose some weight.  Han has already warned me for a while it's literally going to wear me out, just moving but we hope it will get easier.  I know it's going to be tough, just getting out of bed causes so much pain and discomfort, sometimes reduces me to tears.  So I know it's not going to be a walk in the park... Saying that though, I am really looking forward to getting in the pool, I love water so cannot wait.  I will only be using the pool, it's enough.

I had a lady from the NHS visit me at home to see if she could help to improve my diet in any way. This is difficult too as I still cannot stomach any milk or dairy products... I am now on a waiting list for a psychological assessment as they want to rule out eating disorders.  I wish I wish I could eat. Like I used to... It's so frustrating. I am plodding on... Kind of treading water wishing something would come along and help me....or maybe wake me up as I feel like I am in a dream.  The lady managed after several attempts to weigh me and when she told me I burst into tears... Having tried all my life to reduce my weight and now being in a situation where I feel so out of control I still don't think I am over the shock.  I wanted to post my weight here as a visual record..... Maybe to inspire others, to say I am not giving up... 

It's shocking to me as its the heaviest weight I have ever been.

It's ....

24.6 stone or 156.2 kg or 344.9 pounds

Not good, but like I say I am not giving up.... I have to fight this.

So as well as being on my stitching journey you will all be on my life journey... Hope you don't mind? I did consider doing another blog and keeping this one for crafts.  It just would not work as I would get all mixed up!!  And this is me now, I am fighting to get my life back.... Stitching is actually keeping me sane!! 

Sorry I have said so much in this blog, but it all had to come out!! My next post I will share more with you :)

Thank you all so much for popping in to see me... 

I will be back soon, until then keep smiling 😊

Happy birthday Hannah!!

Today is the day!! 

12th May 1995 my lovely daughter Hannah was born!! Today she turned 21!!! Yippppeeeeeee!! 

Han was born at two minutes past midnight, every year as she has got older now stays up and we all sing happy birthday to her! Invented her own tradition! Ha ha

I thought I would share some cute baby photos of her....seeing as she is 21!! 

I have chosen photos of Han simply being Han! With her adorable smile! 

This first photo is a favourite of mine and Han... Yes that's me! 1996!! 

These ones are more recent...  Ha ha 

I love how adventurous Han is with colouring her hair!! And she is not afraid to shave it off either! 

They make me smile so much when I remember the times behind these photos... Han was such a happy child, always smiling, giggling and laughing.  Ha ha just like me! And I am pleased to say she turned out alright! Ha ha Han is a lovely person and I am proud to call her my daughter. Happy birthday Han I hope you have a really lovely day 😊🎉🎂🎁🎉😊 xx

Oh yes... And look at her bedroom door...

There are other decorations around our home.... My parents will be popping over and no doubt more photos will be taken! So advanced warning there may be more photos to follow! 

Big happy birthday smiles 😊

Out and about...

Hello happy smiley friends 😊

As I mentioned in a previous post it was soon to be Hans birthday I neglected to say it was also Caterinas (Kevin's) birthday too soon! Hans is on the 12 May and Kevin's is on the 29 May! So I asked them both if I could take them out for dinner as a treat... Well they both jumped at that! And I asked where would you like to eat? Thinking maybe Wagamamas or Nandos as they both love eating there. They both love sushi so we went to Yo! sushi, our nearest one is in Brighton so that's where we went!! 

Now sushi is not something I usually eat, especially with all my eating issues right now! But Han was very pleased with me as I did try everything, well almost! Here are some photos from our meal...

This is Hans favourite ... Chicken...

Lol another of Hans favourite! Crispy salmon....

Both Hans and Kevin thought I would like this, it's plain rice and cucumber...

Erm...nope! I really did not like the texture of the seaweed around the outside.  But it was alright, han and Kevin ate it! 

His is one of Kevin's favourites, she LOVES salmon!

Both hand and Kevin LOVE these as they are covered in teriyaki sauce..

I tried these noodles, really nice, just veg naturally!

I LOVED this little salad, really tasty.

Looks too good to eat! Art on a plate! Han and Kevin liked this!

Han liked this...

Kevin liked this...

Hans favourite, popcorn prawns....

I tried this, it's Apple inside and the sauce is Carmel....mmmmm

Took some home for jon!! 

Han tried this desert... Green tea cake...

I looked in the menu and saw this!! Dorayaki!! Just tickled me as I am known as Dora! Ha ha

And Kevin tried this cake... Yes the Dorayaki! 

All the empties!! Ha ha this is part of the fun eating here! Stacking up all the different coloured plates! Each coloured plate holds a different price, the waitress then counts all the plates and compiles the bill! Rather fun!

That was fun! And tasty! Mmmm

On the way back Han snapped a few photos as we drove... 

It's Brighton pier... On the move! Lol

The old Victorian pier.... Not much left of it now!

This apparently will be (it's still under construction) a very high tower that gives a 360 view of Brighton when complete.  Don't think I will be going up it! 

So that was our little adventure to the sushi restaurant! They loved it, that's the main thing! 

Han has been drawing again and I said I would show some of her pictures I as really love them...

I LOVE this LOTS!...

A few more....

If you are not aware Han has an Instagram page where she puts all her pictures... Feel free to take a look, she would love that! 

Lol a picture on her phone as I am useless! 

http://instagram.com/nylontoast

Then she showed me this.... It's Hans phone with one of her pictures as her screen saver! Clever!!

Ok... Some stitching??!! Yes I have been stitching! 

Here is my week 6 update....

I am thrilled with how far I have come with this gorgeous design from Hands Across The Sea Samplers.... (Link in my side bar) 

This design is called Miss Mary Ann Bournes 1791 and I LOVE IT!! 

Ok...back to the stitching!!

Thank you so much for popping in to see me 😊😊

Arrrghhhhhh!! 

Han just took a look at my blog and commented on how blurry her photos looked.... Oh dear wondered if it was me?! Something apparently wrong with using iCloud to share photos as its blurred all her photos.... Oh dear.  Not sure how to fix this.... Maybe see how it is when I do my next up date? 

Keep smiling until I next pop in!