Feeling low....

Just thought I would pop in and tell you all how I am.... Quite low and feeling really lost :(

Well you all kind of know what's being going on in my life, my health being a major issue!  For as long as I can remember I have struggled with my weight.  I have been on every diet, health program you can think of over the years! For what ever reason it's easy for me to gain weight but damn hard to lose it! In the past when I have exercised and eaten healthily the most weight in one go I lost was around 4 stone.. Never could lose any more no matter what I did.  

Then when my knee got worse I I became bed bound, yes this almost destroyed me being stuck in bed 24/7 for those 16 months in agony.  I am still in pain but now I manage it differently.  With help from my family I have been forcing my self to go to the swimming pool, to get out of bed, to move more...each day is a struggle.  

Some time ago I was referred to bariatric surgeons to possibly go down the route of a gastric by pass.... Yes dangerous but my options to lose weight and get my life back are quite slim.  It's been a battle with my doctor and hospitals to get any form of help.  

Yesterday I went along to the hospital for an important appointment... To speak with, nurses, dietitians, doctors, anethatists and the surgeons...yes for gastric by pass surgery.  Cutting a long story shore basically I am an extremely high risk category with a few reasons why surgery is not suitable.  As you all know food is a major issue right now after catching a bug in a hospital last year.  And I have not been able to eat...dairy, soya, fish, eggs.  These are really important food groups that are needed and me not being able to eat them now is bad enough but thinking ahead after surgery would be dangerous as they fear I would become malnutrished.  I found out I cannot eat those foods by a process of illumination as directed by my doctor.  I have been on the waiting list to see allergy specialist for about a year now! Thankfully my appointment has come through now and I hope to have confirmation.... It's on 22 December.

But that's not all they said at the hospital appointment.... Due to me taking blood thinner injections now my risk of developing more clots in my lungs is high.  I would have a risk of less than 1 in 100 and for me that risk of dying is a real one.  So that and the food issues made the whole idea of having surgery a non starter.  

I cried, yes I cried.... I think I knew that surgery would not be suitable, but I needed some hope as my life, my world was crumbling around me.  Being told I could not have the surgery devastated me and I am still feeling really low.  

It's 5.03 am and I have hardly slept, too many things going around my head and I am worried about my future.. Oh wait this just really upset me writing that, I can't see to type, tears rolling down my face.

I think I am upset as I feel I don't have an options now... 

I am practically eating a vegan diet, not through choice I may add! So later today I think I will try and turn my disappointment into something positive, I will try.  I am going to look at myself and have some organisation I think.  I am going to write a menu for 7 days, no point doing it for longer as the variety of food I can eat is going to be a stretch just for those 7 days! Maybe with structure in what I eat, getting the right food (protein) and knowing what I am eating will help.  It will be hard as it will mean introducing  meat, .... And exercise, yes I will continue to go to the pool and steam room, I enjoy this so am not going to stop! 

Story of my life really that no one will help me...so I will have to help myself! Try a little harder I guess, I am not giving up, I want my life back.

Sorry if you popped in expecting updates on my stitching and other crafts I am doing... My blog is about me, my struggles and what I get up to.  If your happy to hear about my and my life as well as what crafts I am doing/creating then thank you for sticking with me! I am in a little hole right now, trying to get myself out of it! 

I should go, try and get some sleep I guess? 

I just looked back at my post and thought well that looks awful.... Ha ah not the writing, the fact I have added no photos and no colours! Very unlike me! 

Until I next pop in.... Xxx

Hmmmmmmm.....

Oh my! I am totally useless! 

I guess I just get engrossed with things I am doing and just forget about things....one being this blog! 

I am here now so best I let you all know what I have been up to! 

I have been going swimming and dear Han took a hmmm lovely photo of me! Ha ha it's terrible! I look really hot and bothered! Just been for a swim and in the steam room, showered and dressed and sat waiting to get hair dried at the driers! Nice!! Ha ha

Our house is going to be a little quieter for the next 3 weeks.  Han is off on a course run by the hospital (Stanmore) to help her manage her life long condition.  Her recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia and other things I forget the names of.  Apparently had these conditions a long long time but just now been given the diagnosis..and with that help comes! So on the course she will get help from all kinds of specialists and it will hopefully give her skills and lots of good advice on how to live and cope with her illness.  Han will be blogging daily from her hotel, so if you want to pop in on her, her link is in my side bar.  She goes Monday. Good luck Han and looking forward to you coming back more informed than when you left! 

I have been stitching and stitching.... It's almost finished!! That means I will soon be able to share it all with you! I have also added a few more lines on my knitting.... The wool is really heavy, any one else have this problem? It hurts my wrists if I hold it too long. 

I love the colour of the wool...

My favourite go to food right now is toast and beans! The bread is rather special, has no dairy and soya! Mmmmmmm

I got to surf around Amazon.... Ha ha I don't do this often! And I came across a rather interesting book....

It just screamed, buy me! Of course it did! Ha ha so yes, I bought it! I am still waiting for it to be delivered, but I am quite excited about this.  Oh I plan on giving it a go! I like a good challenge! Ha ha it may take me a little while to gather all the supplies though!! 

Got to go! 

My needle is calling me....

Happy smiles to you all :) 

Cold.....yes!!!

Yes!! It's freezing here! Really really cold.  Ok, when I say freezing, I guess not quite, I mean you think freezing as ice like the arctic?! Not quite arctic here, not yet! But for southern England it's cold! 

And I had to go out today!! The car went in to be checked.... I heard knocking and wanted it investigated.  Arrived at the garage, some 30 miles away! It's alright as it was a really nice drive through the countryside, lots of narrow winding roads. All the trees look wonderful, the colours are beautiful.  My favourite time of year. Han would of taken photos but her phone was almost dead... Thankfully she did manage to take one...this one...

My lovely car up on ramps being investigated! Apparently the clamps that hold the exhaust on where not doing a very good job and were a little loose.  So the garage man is ordering more and we will have to go back next week to get them fitted.  

On the way back home had took ha ha the plast photo she could then her phone did die! It shows us literally driving in green! 

All that was around us is woodland, it was really nice and really relaxing looking at the rolling scenery.  I am sure when we have to go back it will be a lovely drive again.

Have I told you all its cold here? 

Ha ha ha 

Stitching is coming along nicely.... Nope! Sorry can't share this with you all yet! 

I can show you all what I made last night, a little while ago jon treated me and subscribed to 'The One Stitch Club' designs by Kathy Schmitz.  Basically every month there is a new design emailed to me to stitch and enjoy.  It's really nice and an all year gift to enjoy.  Novembers design is rather cute, two darling squirrels...I thought I would have a go at this one! 

I am enjoying appliqué so thought I would give that a go..... And stitched the other one. I am thinking of making them into a little needle holder as I keep loosing my needles! A lot of fun.

Well as they say....that's all folks! Hee hee

Until I next pop in, keep smiling :) 

November??

Hello happy smiley friends.... Yes!! As promised I am back! Ha ha 

I looked at the TV this morning and had to do a double take, it's really November?? Gosh! Where oh where has this year gone? Han and I were talking about this and as a child it's oh, the holidays take forever to come around! As an adult it's oh no! Holidays go too quickly! Anyone else think this year has passed quicker!? Ha ha we all know there's no way it could but to me it sure feels like it! 

I found a nice picture of pretty autumn leaves, so sorry if I over do it posting them, I like them!!

Yes! Ha ha that's them!!

Han and I ventured out, with Bob! If your not aware, Bob is the name I have given to my wheelchair! Why not!!? Ha ha  it's starting to get a bit chilly here... Southern England gets chilly but never freezing, although there are roumours out there saying we may get snow? Nah!!

Oooh I am getting really easily side tracked.... Focus!!

Ok, Han and I ventured out and in the shops there are Christmas decorations and a few Halloween ones too.... Han could not resist taking a photo with my new friend, ..... His name? Hmmmm bones? Yes! Bones, it's a good name, the dr in Star Trek is called it! Ha ha 

Oh yes! This is me!! Maybe you can see in my face my weight loss? One day at a time. Plodding on, my favourite food right now is salad (lettace, cucumber, tomato) roll spread with humus.  Mmmmm

Christmas is rapidly approaching, I really don't like Christmas food so it will be salad rolls here! It's true I don't do turkey, or meat! I did a few years eat salmon, no more as salmon does not like me! I really don't like Christmas cake, Christmas pudding and mince pies.... Something about all that fruit together?! Ewe! Sure I could have a plate of vegetables, don't fancy it.  And I won't be eating any sweets or chocolate either this year as chocolate is a huge no no, dairy alert!! So Christmas is being classed as just another day here! 

I am still stitching away on a HATS design, not long to go now, then onto the next one! I made a tab at the top with the HATS designs I stitch, if you want to go see? Or if you like them enough to stitch then the HATS link is in my side bar. 😊

Whilst out with Han, I found some really nice wool... So bought it! Started knitting...lol not sure what, I just am! It's very therapeutic!! Han thinks I should knit a blanket! So darling jon bought me another 10 balls!! 

What do you think?

It's rather chunky, I am using size 10 needles.... Now this means nothing to me! I was talking to my mum explaining to her I found this wool and am stitching on size 10 needles.  Wow! She says! That's large! Ha ha yup! Chunky!!  Knitting has halted awaiting the balls if wool ordered online!

I am a huge fan of Cheri Payne..... She creates wonderful quilts and appliqué wool designs.  This was one she designed too, for Fall.  I kind of made it slightly different, lol as I do! I have to finish it off, into something.  It's getting my sewing machine out? Not sure I am up for that yet? My back was killing just sitting at the table yesterday.  I keep trying, keep doing it.... One day I hope to sit there and enjoy it! 

Yes been busy doing all sorts of crafts! Again when talking to my mum today she says let me know what your doing today, sewing, stitching, appliqué, knitting....ha ha I just love creating I guess?! Mum and I talk pretty mum every day, you would think we would have nothing to say as we talk daily? Ha ah we always find something to talk about! 

I am off out to the car dealership tomorrow, no, not buying a new car! I have one! This one, remember...

Well when I sit with my foot on the brakes I can hear a knocking coming from the back.  Han has gone around the car and it's louder on the right back.  We are not sure what it is, it's just annoying really so going to get it checked out! Should be an interesting day.... It's near to Horsham so we shall have to see what else we get up to!? Ha ha

Just thought I would add this in.... Lancelot likes wool!! Oh no!!

Whilst surfing around the net I just happen to come across this beautiful table cloth... It's a RICO design.  I adore RICO designs, they are ever so pretty.  This table cloth would be an adventure as its all free hand stitches.  The design is printed onto the fabric and then you basically just stitch it in! With satin stitch and a few other stitches.  Lol yes it's a photo off my iPad, ha ha look at the time I was surfing! 1.42pm, any time of the day I get side tracked! 

Ok, going now as I have some stitching to do! 

Smiles to you all until I next pop in! 

:)

It's been too long.....

Yes!! A virtual hug to you all as I have missed you!! I am so sorry I have been AWOL...no excuse really, just had a break.  I feel in a much happier place now so am happy and full of smiles to be back 😊

I guess you all want to know what's been happening all this time I have been gone? Not a lot! Ha ha 

I have been stitching away, as I do! You all know I am part of the Hands Across The Sea Sampler team and am one of their model Stitchers....I adore doing this!! I recently finished the MASSIVE project I was working on, oh yes I did!! I can now show you all what I was stitching! I don't actually have possession of it, see its on loan to an amazing sampler shop in USA...The Attic!!! Do you know of this wonderful place? Oh I have only seen photos and it looks like a real Aladdin cave of beautiful things. The Attic has a newsletter that comes out regular....here is the link if you want to take a look.... HERE.

Inside the newsletter is my stitching!! 

And the chart too....

It's so surreal seeing what I stitched on a chart and in a newsletter!! This sampler will be on display in the Attic shop all year, wonderful!! Then she will be returned back to me to treasure.

She took me around 3 months to stitch and I loved every minute... 

And yes I have moved onto a new projects for HATS now!! There was a sneak peek a little while ago so I can show you this...

It's a very pretty sampler what I am stitching now and ha ha not even half as big as the last one! This one should be finished soon, it's really interesting as it has eyelet stitch and satin stitch.

I bet your wondering if I have managed to do anything else, I do like to make things for me and friends as you all know.  Been dabbling a little....

I thought seeing as it's almost winter I would knit me a scarf! Hmmmmm maybe not! I am pretty useless! The wool I chose, very soft and I liked the colours.

I tried this, 

Close up...

Did it like it so unpicked it! Crazy right??

Tried this....nope!! You guessed, unpicked!!

Now well I am contemplating! Ha ha I just look at the pretty wool wondering what to do with it!! Ha ha

I am sure it will come to me soon! 

I thought about getting my hair cut, but at the time I could not as I did a rather silly thing.  I was in my wheelchair, somehow my glasses fell off my head and I proceeded to launch myself over the right side of my chair, over the arm to attempt to pick up my glasses.  I mean what was I thinking? Hoping to catch them before they hit the floor? Maybe I thought I had super powers! Lol and WHAM! My ribs made contact with the hard arm on my wheelchair.....I almost passed out with the pain. For some 4 weeks after that I was in agony, I mean screaming agony.  Any movement and boy did I feel it.  We went to A&E to get checked out, they don't x-Ray ribs anymore.  They are only really concerned if I was having trouble breathing, I was not so apparently it was normal to be in that much pain! I could of badly bruised or fractured one or a few ribs! Thankfully now several weeks later I am feeling much better, but still taking things a little slower just to be sure! Anyway....back to the hair cut! Ha ha which I still not had, but want to soon! I found this picture on the web under the search short haircuts! ...no idea who she is? But I like her hair!! 

Yes, I am thinking I would like this look!! 

This year Han and I thought we would have a craft Christmas tree, I mean all these years doing crafts and never put anything on a tree! So this year that's what we are doing! The ornaments will only be things we have made!

I kicked things off by making a little ornament....

Front....

Back... Lol do you like the table cloth!?

Close up....

More to follow I think! If your wondering where I found this design it's from a brilliant creative blogger.... bug and fishes.blogspot.com go take a look she has lots of things to make! 

I have been keeping my swimming up... I love going to the pool to Bob about, and relax in th steam room.  I still have the lady visit me every couple of weeks to get weighed and I am thrilled with the results! 

At my recent weigh session, last week I lost another 3.8 kg !  So far since end of June this year (2016) I have lost almost 2.5 stone or 35.5 pounds or 16 kg!!! 

Slow, taking each day as it happens.... Go me!! 

Oooooooh.... Check out my new tab under my heading, I am going to place all the beautiful designs I stitch for HATS there 😊 it will become a space to celebrate samplers! 

I think by now I must of bored you all to sleep!? It's been really nice catching up with you all, I will be back soon!! Promise!