Thursday 23 rd January 2014...

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Thursday already?!! Where has the week gone?!  And Oh my its not long until February either!  Before we know it, it will be Easter! 

Right well.... I went to my torture session today, erm I mean physio session today! h ah a ha  OK it was better than expected!  I was expecting it to be really painful and useless... but actually I quite enjoyed it.  One thing that the physio did say to me was to exercise just under the pain tolerance level I can cope with, this way I will not cause further injury to myself.  Now this makes perfect sense!! I am sure she told me this at the start of doing sessions with her... I must of forgot!  So now I will make sure I do this and lets hope I get some improvement :)  The physio did say that I am showing signs of improvement and this is very positive.  Having excess weight obviously does not help... but I am actively doing something about this.  

I think I lost the plot before because I thought that was it and I would have to live with this pain.  It shows how much of a muppet I am!! My physio is really nice she says she is working with me to get rid of the pain.  I think it is what I needed to hear as this whole knee thing got me a bit depressed.  I know now if I continue to lose weight and exercise properly with guidance I will reduce the pain and then hopefully be pain free.  This is great news and I am much happier about this and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Apart form this I have pretty much done nothing else today!  Gosh that does sound terrible!  I mean I have not been up to much!  It feels like all I have done today is drive my car... here there and everywhere!  Tomorrow is a rest day, I WILL manage to fit in some stitching.  No exercise... so no visit to the pool tomorrow...physio's orders!

Food wise what have I eaten?  Well I just felt like something different today...

My book entry..

Yes I did take a photo of my yummy banana milk shake!...

Lunch I ate crackers with spread light phili and sliced boiled egg... (this is on a small tea plate)

Dinner I wanted something different so opted for salad, with a light dressing, it has a nice piece of salmon under all those leaves!

Then in the evening later I ate a light yogurt with some grapes...

That is pretty much it really... 

I have only had 1 coffee today, I have drank some herbal tea but if I am honest I know I have not drank enough at all today.  Hmmmm back to the not drinking again :(  

RIGHT!.... I am aware of this now and I will try to drink more.

I saw something and thought I would share it with you...

(Borrowed from Google Images)

I think it really interesting... I mean how do they work?  I used to eat fresh blueberries regular with natural yogurt... interesting what they do!  Maybe I should eat them again! ha ha  I recently started to eat Curly Kale... its really good vitamin wise... and with me not eating meat I think it cannot do me harm eating these types of vitamins.  I am going to look into what other recipes I can do with Curly Kale... is it like a cabbage?  Hmmm   Spinach looks good to eat, I should eat this too! 

Interesting reading huh?!

Oooh yes... well as you all know I cross stitch :)  And I read a magazine called The World Of Cross Stitching.  They were advertising people to be on their panel for issue 213, its their next one out. I applied and was accepted!  The magazine is out I think tomorrow!! eeeekkkk and for being on the panel I got sent some goodies!  I could not believe what they sent me!....

It was like Christmas all over again!  I am over the moon with what they sent and will use it all!  I will when I get the magazine post a  photo here so you can see me!  Ha ah ah a 

OMG!! yes the other new I have to say is about my English... well see I thought I was just carrying on with the same tutor but the next level up...starting next week.  Today I get a letter saying that this is no longer possible as there is not enough people enrolled on this course.  And that I have to join a different course starting next week.  The other course is a mixed ability course with lower than my level and higher than my level too.  I am feeling rather anxious and frustrated about this as I enjoyed English with the tutor I had.  She understood me and what I was like.  I now have to join a new class, full of strangers and a tutor that does not know me... and how will I feel with a mixed ability group?  Will I feel out of my  depth?  I am just so confused right now :(  With my SpLd's when I get frustrated or confused I shout, I cannot stop this it just happens... the new class are not aware of me and how I react to things... they are not aware of my SpLd's either, its just the tutor... if she is told?  You would like to think so?!  So I dont know what I am going to do.. I was enjoying English as I felt comfortable in that tutors class... not sure what to do?  I do have a mentor at college I can go and chat to about things I am bothered with at college... that is what he is there for.  So maybe I will chat to him... 

OK.. I think that is all for today! 

Remember to keep smiling :)

Wednesday 22 nd January 2014.....

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Its the middle of the week!

Hope your all fine?

Me...I am GREAT!!

Feeling good and happier with things.. yeah! :)

Ok so what has changed?  To be honest not a lot!  I guess because I has some structure again in my life.  I know what I am doing and where I am going...  Oh not to the shops or anything! ha ha  I mean with my life!  I feel happier as I am exercising again and eating healthier again too... I just 'feel' good :)  I tell you its those endorphin's that I release doing exercise.  Release away I say!!

Today I have not been out apart from the pool and taking Han to college.  A day in!  I did plan on doing stitching...after I completed my maths homework, you know as a job well done.  Well hmmm.... took me practically all day to do the maths homework!  Seriously!  The tutor sets loads of homework... I guess I dont mind as I have to practice what I do in class.  And I guess by spending all day on it gives me a chance to understand it fully.  So yes maths homework, it was about ratio... lol in Germany this is actually a shop name! Feel better its out of the way.

Right food, what have I been up to?  Yes I am completing my little book.  I like it as its giving me a different focus.

 Yes for breakfast I did have another banana shake, forgot to take a damn photo :(  I will get around it to it...

Lunch I changed things a little and kind of experimented.  A little while ago I bought a small tin of tuna but it was in chilli flakes and oil.  Never seen it before so thought I would try it.  Got one of my Ikea crackers out, broke it up and put a thin layer of light philli on the kind or arranged the tuna on the top.  Now I did not feel the effects of the chilli at first, but oh when I finished eating I did!  My mouth was hot!

Late afternoon I ate 2 hard boiled eggs.... hmmm that I forgot to mention in the book!  Now that is naughty of me! Just forgot I guess.

With not eating meat now I am very conscious that I should be eating a varied amount of vitamins and complicated stuff like that... so I like eating odd things so who knows what else I will come up with!

Dinner was more of my yummy home made spicy bean soup.  I had to make another pan of it as I had eaten the first one!  

When I come back from the pool I did have some more soup... in a mug :)

I seem to have a theme running at the moment with what I am eating... its chilli!!  Well I did read that it is good for you, helps in some way I think... I will look this up.

And yes went to the pool in the evening and did the walking up and down and backwards, bike legs and swing legs... did all that.  I will get me knee stronger.  The bonus is after all that I then was able to sit a chill in the steam room.  Oh that is bliss, I love it.

Tomorrow I have a long session with my physio... not really looking forward to that :(  I will no doubt tell you all about it tomorrow!

Relaxing now, catching up with Han... oh yes she has a blog if you want to take a look!  Its actually quite good and I like what she does.  She is more a photo picture person and me well.... anything goes!

Hannah's Blog

Keep smiling :)

Tuesday 21 st January 2014...

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Well hello!! :)

Today I spent all day in college... now I had a very challenging maths lesson, doing ratio... hmmm!! :(  English was better, it was my last lesson for this level, which is level 2.  Next Tuesday I start level 1..with the same tutor!  So its just for me any way carrying on.  I do not have my grades for level 2 as I sat paper exams and they take longer to return.  My tutor told me not to worry as she is confident I have passed!  So I guess this is exciting??! But not for me yet as I want proof! lol

I had some sort of panic thing today as I thought I had lost my new note book! hmmm now that would of been good! not!

Ok so here is the note books entry today...

It basically looks like yesterday!  Banana shake.. yes I seem to be liking this on a morning!  1 banana chopped and added to a cup of skimmed milk blitzed in the blender until it looks like a milk shake! lol that is it really!  I will take a photo tomorrow.

I took soup with me, in my amazing big boy flask...

The contents of the flask is about 1 bowl of soup, so it was enough.  And yes it did fill me up.  I have been trying to drink water too, but I dont like water so this is a struggle...but I did try!  I ate this for lunch which was great but silly me forgot to bring something for later...

I looked in the canteen cafe as that is all that is open in the evening.  Hmmm sandwiches, cake, crisps, chocolate.... nope!! So I opted for the safest thing I could find.  I had 2 small pots of muller light plain rice.  To be honest they were really nice and I did enjoy eating them. (sorry no photo as I was too busy eating them!)  

That basically saw me through until I went home ... then at home I finished off the rest of the amazing bean spicy vegetable soup I made.  It was really filling and I am fine now!

I am I think suffering a little today as I now can feel a twinge in my lower back.  I guess that is from limping slightly because of my knee?  Damn it!!  I am trying to relax sitting in my chair and its quite uncomfortable... I hope I mange to get some sleep later?

I saw this and thought...yes!  So when in my car today travelling about I turned up the radio and sang along!  And its true it did make me feel happier, bonus I get to live longer! :)

 (Borrowed from Google Images)

Not a very exciting day today.... but a tiring one.  So sitting trying to relax for the rest of the evening... maybe I will do a bit more stitching? :)

Until tomorrow.... 

Monday 20 th January 2014...

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Well I have been naughty :(  

Sorry for not blogging but I have a good reason....

I have been thinking...

I will tell you now that this whole thing with my knee has got me down.  Really down... and yes I sunk low and nearly lost the plot.  See I could not see a way out, I know my knee is not going to get better and I basically resigned myself to just getting fat as I could not do anything about it.  I know its really bad of me to just give up like that... the pain in my knee at times it really unbearable and I am SO not coping with it.

I guess I thought there was no way out and I know I need to exercise to lose weight... how could I possibly exercise being in so much pain?  And that is what I have been fighting with.  This dragged me down to a really low point, I thought all that effort for what?  To just give in now just because I have pain ok a lot of pain and discomfort in my knee?! hmmm 

I guess I needed to be low to realize that I can still do this... I just need to be focused and dedicated and I know I will get through this and come out the other side.  It was yesterday just before midnight I actually realized this!  I was feeling fed up with myself and unmotivated and something in me just snapped and I said to myself ... Only you can do this... 

I know I have it in me as I have come this far.. I need to find something extra to get over this hurdle.  I sat up till the early hours with a load of amazing ideas running around my head... I dare say if I had gone to bed I would not of been able to of sleep.  I needed a new focus.. to motivate myself again.  So I took a little note book and wrote the days of the week inside it and with breakfast, lunch, dinner... exercise and notes... I guess its a kind of way of keeping tabs on myself!  Sounds crazy but I need something to try to keep me on track.

Here is my book...

Inside for today...

And my amazing soup I made....

I had 2 bowls of this as it tasted that good!  I think its probably the best one I have made yet!  (Think I will take some to college tomorrow)  So do you want to know what I put into it?.... water... 1/4 tin of copped tomato's, whole tin of mixed beans.  Carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, curly kale, white cabbage and lots of chilli powder.  Its a spicy one but really tasty.

I am in a happier place now .... feel positive and ready to carry on :)

I have college all day tomorrow, 10 am until 9 pm... so I may not update my blog until Wednesday?  I guess it depends on how I feel after I get home.

Forgot to show you my up date of my stitching... its coming along nicely :)

And I am off to do something I should of got round to sooner... the pool!  Will post photo and tell you how it went later :)

Still smiling :)  :)

Back from the pool!! OMG I WENT!!! :)

So well it was not as bad as I thought it would be...I managed to walk up and down the pool side wards and front wards 15 times and then supported my arms in a corner (kind of prop myself up) and moved my legs as if on a bicycle ... then I stood on the step and relaxed my bad leg and gently raised and lowered several times.  This was all as instructed by the physio!  After all that I then went for a soak in the hot tub and then in the steam room to finish off.  I actually really enjoyed it and feel really happy.  It is true what they say... exercise does release happy endorphin's :)  

And another GOOD thing is, I weighed myself.... I thought I had better as I was worried I might of put a load back on whilst being in active.  Well I was VERY pleasantly surprised... I am exactly the same!  I think its GREAT!! and a real boost for me :)

Look the weather outside this evening is cold and foggy..

And here is me!  A selfie of me on the way out!  Its not a very good one as the hoody I have on it massive!  But I like it as its very comfortable!  And wet hair! 

Feeling REALLY good about myself and I WILL be going again! :)

Wednesday 15 th January 2014....

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Yes its Wednesday! 

What I have been doing?  Well all day Tuesday I was at college, still doing Maths and English. 

Monday and Tuesday what have I eaten??

Here are some photo's..

Nimble bread with scrambled eggs and 5 baked beans

Nimble brown bread toastie with cheese and beans in

Mushroom cup-a-soup

The only things I have missed off here is a nimble brown bread cheese sandwich I took to college yesterday and the thin crust vegetarian small pizza I had last night from our freezer when I got in after college late.  ..forgot to take a photos of :(  I was very tired last night... but later perked up and could not sleep at all and was awake until after 4 am!!   So yes this pretty much is what I have eaten Monday and Tuesday...

Wednesday so far I have eaten plain porridge...

I am loving the Nimble bread... its lighter than normal bread and its nice to eat! :)

Today I am not eating anything until much later when Han is in from college... still not feeling the food!  Just find it boring.

What am I up to today?  Well I have an essay to write for English.. its about death!  A subject that totally fascinates me... in many ways.  Some may think its a morbid subject, but not at all to me.  I am interested in why people have such diverse views on it and the culture, religion and traditions... how its celebrated and not discussed ... like I say a brilliant topic! May post a snip it later... :)

Hmmm I want to do some stitching too as never got chance to do any yesterday as was at college all day :(  Yes I am so addicted to stitching! lol

Well back to my essay....

Keep smiling :)