(Borrowed from Google Images)
Its almost Christmas and I have not stopped!
Yes... not been on as I was revising for a Maths test and then an English one :(
But I am here now! :)
I have no idea what is going on with me right now? I mean I know I am not getting enough sleep, I have lost interest in all food. Yes you did read that right!! All food!! I am finding food so damn boring at the moment... no matter how I 'pretty' it up or be adventurous with it. I am actually finding excuses not to eat! I mean .. what ever!!
Take today... I took my mum out to do some Christmas shopping. We walked about a bit... we had a coffee.. I had a 1 shot skinny latte with no extras...no cake, no biscuit, no sandwich... not even a scone! Then more shopping and then we had lunch. She likes Pizza Hut so that is where we ended up. OMG... now previously bear in mind I could eat a whole extra large pizza myself and more! I love Pizza Hut. OK... so we had the buffet, cool a mixture...salad, pasta and pizza happy happy! Well so I thought! At the buffet bar looking at the pizzas I was so uninterested it actually scared me! I mean.. me not wanting to eat pizza?? I went to the salad bar and did not really want to eat that either.. but put a token selection on my plate.. bit of lettuce, coleslaw and sweetcorn. Then wandered back to the pizzas... thought I should so put 2 small, yes I chose the smallest triangles! They were a vegetarian one with onion, mushroom and spinach I think? Sat down and pretty much forced myself to eat it. And this was the first food I had had all day. See I have no idea what is going on?
Its now almost 5.30 pm and I am sat at my computer drinking a home made strawberry shake. Its made with semi-skimmed milk and a handful of frozen strawberries from my freezer. I am basically drinking this because I know I should have something.
I have not been able to do any exercise still... due to my damn knee. I have physio this Friday, in the aqua pool so that should be interesting, helpful too I hope. I am actually getting fed up of not doing anything.. I know exercising will help with me not sleeping... but I cannot exercise :(
Do you know I just feel like screaming.... maybe I should it may help me to feel better about myself right now? Maybe, well I hope this is just a phase? Ha ha yes a phase of not wanting to eat...not the wanting to scream! ha ha
When I feel like this I dont feel like blogging... but I forced myself to do it...to see if it would help? Well to be honest I guess its nice to get off my chest what is bothering me.
Hmmm... food over Christmas is not bothering me. I dont like it!! I really dont! I am and have not been eating any meat... I dont like Turkey so that is fine! OK I will eat the vegetables... I dont like Christmas pudding, or cake so no worries there! And yes I like Cheese cake but we dont have it this year as dad is a diabetic. So I think it will be a dull Christmas dinner for me this year... if I eat it! As for all the nibbly snack bits.. I guess I should eat something... maybe I will cut up an apple and nibble that? Aaaargggh food!!
I have all my presents... they are not wrapped but I have them! I should really wrap them... when I get a minute. Are you all prepared for Christmas?
Gosh this has turned out to be a quite depressive post... sorry :(
I have broken up from college now... until the 7th January but I have home work to do. To prepare for an English exam my first day back! damn!! And I wonder who turns up to that?!!
Ok... so I will post again... maybe every other day over the Christmas period? Or maybe I will just go with the flow and post when I feel like it?! I will post though... promise :)