Something a bit different!

(Borrowed from Google Images)

I thought I would do something a little different as a kind of inspirational boost....  I thought I would post OLD yes OLD photos's of me at my heaviest... and a few new ones.... in the hope it would spur me on to lose more weight  :)  And to show just how far I have come already...


OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!


This is an AWFUL 2 photo's of me.... size 32 ladies clothes :(

Another AWFUL one!... This is actually a mans t-shirt as I could not find any ladies ones to fit.  Again size 32 ladies trousers.

Just look at that chin... t-shirt was a XXXL, just awful.

This would NEVER of been possible.... size 24 fitting into a roller coaster!!! Amazing :)

Me looking.... a bit different! :) size 24 ladies jeans!!

Getting better... an actual dress!! Size 24!!! 

I KNOW I still have a LONG way to go... I AM winning this battle though.  I AM coming down in size... all be it slowly, it is coming off!!

Even down to size 24, yes its a major achievement but I still feel awkward in my body... I mean look at my face to the size of my body in the last photo.  I am still out of proportion.   I was actually shocked when I tried this dress on... a size 24 that fitted all over!! Could not believe it really.  Han wanted me to buy it... I did not as I dont feel ready to wear it yet..... maybe soon.  I guess its a confidence thing too, I mean I have been a huge size... size 32 and then to see yourself in a size 24... shocking!  In my head I still feel the need to wear 32, Han is like the confidence I dont have... telling me its OK you can wear smaller clothes!

My arms are the worst... I am really trying to reduce them, they are shrinking slowly!  This last photo of me in the dress is a shocker for a few reasons... a dress!! A dress that is of knee length!! OMG!! No no and no!! My legs below the knee are and have never been pretty to look at!  I have a disfigurement on my right leg, you can just see the red make in the photo.  It was from an accident and I ended up having DVT, the area still swells to this day if I am on my feet all day.  I just 'cope' with it, maybe later I should look at getting some treatment for it, or to see if something can be done with it?  And whilst on the worst bits... I flaming hope that my bust reduces more!!! OMG... fingers crossed!!

Have you noticed that in my photo's I am smiling and happy?  That is because I am!! I have tried to make the most of the way I am all my life.  I have not liked living being very over weight, I have just got on with life. 

Since dropping from size 32 to 24 a few things have changed.... I have more energy, I walk quicker, I dont snack on junk!  I enjoy my food in a different way now, I know when to stop eating, I love healthy food.  I dont feel guilty if I do have a treat.  I am loving buying new clothes!  and I think my confidence is growing with every stone I lose!  I am starting to feel happier with myself but I know there is still a long way to go.  Its kind of like following the yellow brick road... I will find the emerald city one day!! (love that film!)

But now its my time to take control of my life, I will win this battle to be comfortable in my own skin.  To be able to shop in any shop I wish, to not worry if something will not fit me... and my dream to wear wellingtons will come true :)

I was sitting at my PC and thought I need a boost.... this is what I came up with!  I am mental right!!! :)  Change things up, live a little.... break the mold!  Never do things by halves!  But OMG!! Still in a little shock I actually posted photo's of me!! Eeeeekkkk

A good friend of mine posted this on Facebook not long after I wrote this blog entry... I thought it pretty apt as I believe this... but I put my fear aside and posted it anyway... for me.