Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Hello.... sorry its a long post :(

Thought I would just pop in to say I will not be around tomorrow... (Thursday)

See something rather exciting is happening, just for one day.  I am leaving my home at 5.15 am .. I know early!!  I dont know how I am going to feel as I may not get much sleep tonight!  Excitement I guess!

Do you want to know where I am going for the day... and it will be a rather long day too as I am not back until the early hours of the next day! eeekkk

Han will take some photo's and I will share them with you when I get back.

We are off to the Bruge Christmas market :)

I miss being abroad, well I miss Germany really.  I have spent a lot of my life, childhood and adult life living in Germany.  To me its home... 

Yes I am British, but England I feel is not home, I dont really know it all. ha ha I need a SAT NAV to go anywhere! 

I have grown up with German Christmas markets and oh they are wonderful.. the smells the atmosphere and just the feel of it all.. pretty awesome!  And well as a treat my parents decided to take Han and I, not Jon as he cannot stand the travelling.. we are going by coach ... oooh Gluhwein!! eeek!!  Yes oppps side tracked!  Hmm yes we are going by coach, Jon will have everything he needs at an arms length and has assured us that he will be fine.  It will be the fist time I would of left him for so long... but he has told us to have fun, naturally I will bring him something back :)  I do feel a little awkward going without him.. but he realistically cannot come.  To be honest I dont know how Han is going to cope yet?  We are taking my mums lightweight wheelchair with us... so if Han needs a break she can go in that.... tag team with my mum! haha a see she also has a back problem.

Its one day.... everything will be fine.

My parents booked it, like I say by coach and this is so new to me as I usually drive everywhere!  Means if I wish to I can participate in the drinking of Gluhwein! mmmm I think for English people its known as mulled wine.... I love it.  Its just so warming when your cold and the thing to drink to keep you warm whilst walking around the market.  Oooh my I have not had any alcohol for years... I will have to watch myself!

If you have been to a 'real' German market you will understand what I am talking about... I know we are not going to a German one this time.. its Bruges.. .. near enough!

I am so very excited... can you tell!? ha h a

Some other news to tell you all about...

Yes firstly sorry for the lack of photo's in this post :( 

As a lot of you know I originally started blogging to help with my weightloss... to keep me on track.

hmmm yes well... I was doing so so good, lost a heap of weight, just over 4 stone and loved the BBC filming Han and I for 1 year.

If you have not seen it...

I tried and tried and was doing really well... then I became ill.  I suffered really bad with the arthritis in my left knee.  To a point where I was in so much pain I have been hospitalized and cannot walk on it.  To this day I still have a lot of pain in my knee.. it stops me from doing a lot of things... I have to stop if I am walking.  Then there is my anemia and protein deficiency ... struggling for what seems months and months now with no energy to do anything.  Yes I am now waiting for iron injections, but still have not had them.

I feel its a really steep hill I am on and it never gets any easier... so anyway I have been asking the doctor for help for years now.  And luckily have been referred to a program now where I will be supported in every way.

I had the dietitian visit me in my home Monday.. a really lovely lady that is very understanding.  Over all the years with my struggle with weight I have never seen a dietitian ..  but its out of necessity now as I need help managing what I eat to eat the right foods.

Over the years my taste has changed... I used to have a really sweet tooth, I would literally rather eat cake and sweets all day than real meals and food.  Those days are gone!  I re-trained myself when I was being filmed with the BBC to not eat sweet things, and to try to eat a low carb food intake... it worked!  Oh but I exercised too... this is key for me.

So I am being monitored for protein and iron intake.. as well as eating healthily and sensibly.  I have been  told that it could take up to 6 months to replenish my protein levels, back to a 'normal' state.. and a fair few months to sort my anemia out too... a long road.  I am also going to look at all the information available to consider having a gastric band operation.  I know... this totally goes against everything I believe in.. but how many times do I have to lose 3-4 stone and then put it back on again?  I cannot cope with life the way I am... its a struggle.  Being carer for Jon and Han and trying to look after myself too... its hard.  I have really really tried all my life to lose weight and keep it off... its hard but I cannot do it.  How many more years am I going to torture myself for?  So this is why I am going to 'look' at it... I mean the whole operation thing scares me no end.. not even sure if I would go through with it?

So the dietitian and the services they can offer me are really good... it really annoys me as to why I have previously not been put on this? hmmm Any way.. I can attend classes on how to manage my food and gentle exercise to suit me... other classes to, I am being sent a list.. I will go to them all!!

The one thing that I want to feel... that is accepted.. I dont the size I am .. never have done.  Do you know what I mean?  In restaurants.. the chairs.... sitting on public transport... sitting on 'normal' chairs.. I dont like people close to me any way so its even harder being larger.  I dont think people actually realize how hard it is everyday unless they have been 'large' them selves.

Oh am I rambling?  I guess I need to chat!? lol

Maybe I have wrote enough?

Well I guess 2015 is going to be a 'new' start in many ways for me...

So until Friday... happy stitching to you all...

Smiles and happiness to you all :)

Oooh I may take a little stitching project with me, I may get bored on the coach?  

Promise the next up date will have photos and stitching!


  1. I am glad for you that the dietitian and the programs are there to help you now. It has been a long struggle for you, at least now there is help. Don't give up. :) As for the lap band surgery - my niece had it, and she lost a lot of weight, but she has to really watch her eating - not just what, but how much... If she eats even a little more than allowed, she gets sick.
    Have a wonderful time at the Christmas market! I have seen the chocolate rabbits and Santas they have (my dad used to bring them) - so beautiful, colorful and... tasty! Oh yes, and the Nutcracker story by Hoffman is my favorite. :)

  2. have a wonderful time with the markets...........

    goodluck with the diet/ is always a battle.............

  3. Have a fantastic time! I wish I could tag along with you, so take lots of pictures for us ")

  4. Have a fantastic time. I cannot wait to see the pictures.
    It will be interesting, this journey with the dietician. Also what you learn and then decide about the gastric band surgery.

  5. I have managed to get downto a size ten; it took a lot of work and a lot of effort and it is so hard when other health aspects get in the way and make you feel all the good work is undone. It's a real struggle. For me it wasnt size, but hormones which meant I had to lose weight..and even then it didnt work and I had to have the surgery (ooverectomy), so I know how frustrating it must be for you. I am so pleased you are finally getting the help you need. Ther German market sounds amazing. I wish I was coming! Do what is righ for you...don't mind other people. Just be true to yourself

  6. oooooooooooooooooooo enjoy ... you will have a fab time .... don't get tooo drunk heheheh .. Kudus on you continuing on your journey and glad to hear you have more help now ... I also need to lose more weight and know the struggle that you are going through .... love mouse xxxx

  7. Have a fabulous time. There is a german market in Birmingham most years leading up to Christmas.
    Good luck with the new programme for next year!

  8. Jacquie, I wish you a wonderful day at the Christmas markets !!
    I was in the markets in Vienna, it was wonderful:-))
    I wonder for a fresh start with a dietician in 2015:-))
    I know what it is to fight kilograms:-))
    I can only eat, or nothing:-)) Now I eat a lot of weight gain: - ((((
    It's horrible, I have also to think about yourself!

  9. Oh, I am sure that you will love your visit to Bruges. Being Austrian I am used to the tradition of Christmas markets, because here in Austria they are the same as in Germany. I will be off tomorrow for a weekend visit to Salzburg to enjoy lots of Gluehwein, too! We will go there by train and I guess I am just as excited about it as you are :-)
    I know how it is to continuously watch ones weight, but I this weekend will be a few days off the plan.
    Enjoy your day in Bruges and I will certainly have something to stitch with me for the train ride :-)

  10. Enjoy the trip...I think you are an inspriation to all of us who want/need to lose weight. You can do it!

  11. Hope you enjoy your day out. Best of luck with the weight loss, I have struggled for years with low iron levels too.


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