Enough...

I woke this morning on a high again!  I am just SO happy, I can only put it down to what I am doing in my life right now.  I have more energy, my mood is much happier and I just feel so much better within myself.  For this feeling alone I wish I had discovered the way I am now changing my life. :)

I called this addition 'Enough' because I am going to talk about the feeling of eating enough... 

All my life I have eaten basically what I wanted when I wanted, and as much of it as I wanted.  Not very good really.  So I can honestly say over the years I have had no idea of where my 'full up' mark is.  I think that is down to just eating and then over eating, because I enjoyed eating something.  I thought I was hungry, but in reality it was my brain and my stomach fighting against each other saying, no don't eat it, yes eat it!  And then trying to handle the urges I felt because I liked food and wanted to eat it.  Every day became a battle because I knew I should be eating healthier food but the urge to eat more and more was very real.

I think the worst thing I ever did when deciding to change my eating habits previously was to call it a 'diet'.  I really dislike this word, the reasoning behind this is that I feel I have been put on a diet and see diets as punishment for being fat and overweight.  Being on a diet is singling me out and I don't want to be different.  That I feel, is one of the psychological things that has held me back, and its learning to find another way to handle this.  I am learning and taking this as a challenge and now call this phase a life style change, this to me sounds 'normal'.  

I am learning as I go along now, I realized I was eating way too much but did not accept that I needed to put less on my plate.  That sounds silly right, but when your used to eating large amounts of food its really hard to put less on your plate.  So when I actually left some food from my dinner I thought well I have got to change my plate, to make the decision to eat less was not easy.  

The decision that I had eaten enough was a bit of a shock, I have never really felt 'full' or content with what I have eaten before... so there I was leaving quite a lot of food, on my plate!  Incredible, me leaving food... who would of thought that!  So then I had to accept this was the new me, the new me who is changing my eating habits and learning to eat less, but also understanding why I want to eat less.  To think about this is so surreal, its very hard to get it around my head that I actually do not need to eat a lot now.  I am working on this, and am very aware that I have to watch this all the time.  I guess with time it will become easier and automatic.

I am very happy with how I am coping with the changes I have introduced into my life, I think I am coping because I want the changes.  That as they say is half the battle, accepting 100% that you want change.  In fact I am thrilled, thrilled that its happening!  I just seem to have a permanent smile on my face :)